The Barton Family Blog

How much she has changed!

I bawled when I read it. http://www.lanecountyheartgallery.org/cgi-bin/k9bytes.pl?command=showkid&kidid=13034

Shy's hair is super cute! We love it! She gets compliments everywhere we go! Here's some other shots: Thanks Cassie! You did a great job (:

Aren't they beautiful!?! The dresses were a sweet gift from my Grandma Brock!!! They looked so sweet at our church Christmas play! I love this pix because Natalee looks angelic... Hollie looks kinda spaced out... & Shy is just cracking up! Thank you Grandma Brock!

I emailed CASA today (They are a non profit child advocates) I was hoping there would be someone there who is our kids' CASA worker who might help us advocate for the girls. But they don't have a CASA worker. The CASA worker I spoke with said girls don't have one. She said there are 900 foster children in Marion County... and only 160 represented by CASA workers.  They just don't have enough volunteers. How sad. I told Johnny that some day when my kids are in school I would love to volunteer for CASA. Talk about a worthy cause to support. You don't have to have any type of degree to become a CASA worker.  Here's what Marion County CASA's website says: "The Judge is really looking for a common sense, objective view of the child's circumstances. In depth knowledge of the legal and social service systems isn't necessary (although CASAs get training on both), and you don't need to be a great speaker either. Your regular, lived-a-life common sens...

A photo edited by Naomi!

I'm sure there are better ones.... this was the night of the Christmas play. Aren't their dresses sweet/?!?!? So stinkin sweet! My grandma Brock got them for them and we LOVE them!!!!!!! I like the different looks on their faces... Natalee sweet... Hollie dazed... Shy cracking up! So cute!

I received a phone call today from someone I don't know. Asking when will be a good time for me to set up a date with the girls' siblings to do a photo shoot. My caseworker asked to schedule a professional photography session. Each new development makes me all in knots. That's how I feel inside. Tense and in knots. The kids' great aunt text me today. upset.  She's Aiden & Maddy's foster mom. It's nice to know there's someone else out there who probably understands what I'm going through. She said she just wanted to scream at the lady on the phone: "THEY ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY!!"  I know how she feels. Will this emotional turmoil ever be settled?

Received this email from the girls' caseworker... "Things are moving with the recruitment for the kids...I have received several studies already for the four kids together. I am going to be very specific about what they need etc...so we will see what types of families we get. If I continue to recruit and don't get what I am looking for we will then revamp and talk more about splitting the sibling group. Of course, there is a 'process' that I have to go through to do that here...take it to a committee and present the info/reasons etc... I am open to whatever is best for these kids and absolutely don't want a failed adoption in any way... Please do keep me updated on how things are going and any other thoughts you have on this. I value your opinion and know that you know these girls better than anyone at this point!" I read it with resigned sadness. But then... at prayer last night... I burst into tears while asking people to pray for their situation.  Of co...

Yes! We had a very merry Christmas! I just forgot my camera in Newberg... so no posts for a little while! I will say that the girls play NON STOP with this new kitchen from Maga & Paga! They play from the moment they wake up till they fight w/ me at bed time for 5 more minutes of play! (: They LOVE IT! Hope your Christmas was merry & bright!

o makes my heart ache! this little girl how they change. I love these little words.... ti-mis light... ti-mis tree...

My heart literally hurts to think of the girls leaving. It's a physical pain. I love them. O sure, they can at any given moment make me want to scream, pull my hair out, and run away all at the same time. But I love them. I love who they are becoming as they change and grow. I love the little glimpses of Jesus that I see in them. I love the way Shy asks me to pray for her, sometimes 2 or 3 times. I love that when she wakes up scared, all it takes is me praying for her and she'll fall instantly back to sleep. I love the little breakthroughs I see in her daily. I love how she just wants me to hold her and everything will be okay. I love all the new little words Hollie is saying. I love it when she says, "I wuv ooo". Yes I do. I love the way she gets so excited to see me when I've been gone. I love it when Hollie perks her little lips together and says, "Ooooo"  I love the way these 3 girls interact. I see how Natalee could have a sister so close in...

Shy was very very blessed at her birthday party today! First of all... her brother & sister got to come & her Aunt & Uncle! Aiden: Maddy: and of course Hollie was there: and her friends Natalee & Jack (plus the parents & siblings) + both Johnny's parents & sisters & my parents & sisters! Singing Happy Birthday to her.... New barbie from Uncle Jason & Aunt Naomi: (I'm sure this will become a new favorite!) Her new hat: Coloring books, stickers, crayons, etc (great stuff to entertain her out in church service!!) from Patti & Aunt Auttie & Aunt April!! Each shirt she received she wanted to undo the button. She loves buttons! I snapped these two shots on our way home cause they were too cute & I didn't get a pix while she was opening. The coat is from Maga & Paga. It's super soft and just adorable! The button pants & shirt are from Papa & Nonny. Super sweet as well! One of her favorite gifts in the moment was CH...

I catch Natalee all the time playing the piano & singing. I love it!!

I always think about what a roller coaster Jason & Naomi will have in the adoption process. I've never thought it would be us. Today I told my case worker that we would like to take the girls if she decides to split the sibling group. Who says that this one woman gets to decide our future? That this one woman gets to decided the kids' future? Just doesn't seem fair. I just have to keep reminding myself that she isn't deciding our future. God is in control. and He does know what will happen with these kids. And [thank GOD!] He has their best interested in mind.  He cares about them.  All I've been praying lately is that God will give them a Christian home - whether it's ours or someone else's. I confess I'm terrified of a failed adoption. I don't want to get these girls back in 3 months - more screwed up than they already are. I just want God to protect them and overshadow them and to help us to do our part in HIS plan. That is what I pray.

5 years ago we shared our vows. Gosh it was a fun day.  I LOVED IT! My mom spent so much time and energy making is simply wonderful! It was so fun to share this time w/ Allison - Johnny and I didn't get much of an anniversary - too busy with wedding prep, sound checks, practices etc. but we're okay with that! Allison & Garrett's day was super special... and Johnny and I will celebrate another day soon (Anyone volunteering to babysit??!) but I just wanted to pause and say that I love my sweet sweet husband of 5 years. Wouldn't trade him for the world. He has given me the world. 1st with Natalee and even now as we have embarked on this crazy adventure called foster parenting. He has helped me fall more and more in love with our other two sweet peas... He blesses us all daily with his faithful work + commute to Portland and he never complains. He is faithful and strong and my perfect match. I love you honey. I thank God daily for His gift to me - Y...

She makes a beautiful bride doesn't she? Yes she does. I am simply so very very happy for them. What a beautiful day. A beautiful ceremony. and a precious precious beautiful couple! Ooo. I miss them already! I hope they soak up the sun and enjoy their time! Wish Johnny & I could to do it all over again! (Speaking of which... our 5 year was yesterday! 5 years strong! I will post about it tomorrow!)

We are so blessed. So very blessed. Blessed with 3 beautiful girls. Blessed that Johnny got called back to work. Blessed by the friends and family around us. Blessed every day by a God in heaven who loves us and takes time to make Himself known in our every day lives. Just wanted to take the time to acknowledge how very blessed I feel today!

Sweet little Hollie.  She cracks me up on a daily basis. Here's what she did yesterday. I fed the girls Chicken Noodle Soup for lunch.  Shyanne loved hers [typical].  Natalee barely touched hers [typical].  Hollie dumped hers out on her tray [also typical]. And then proceeded to pick out all the celery. [pause] Now most of you would say... What's so weird about that.  My kids always pick out the celery... or anything green for that matter!  I mean I still do used to do that myself!! No... here's the weird part: She picked out all the celery. and ate it. And left all the rest of the soup! goof ball!!!

Maybe you've heard of   Stream of Conscious writing.  It's where you just write write write as your brain flows.. not worrying about punctuation or spelling... just getting all your thoughts on paper. No organization needed.  That's kinda what this [mostly one-sided] conversation was like! She just can't stop talking. Even when she's laying in bed... supposed to be sleeping... and I'm not answering her because I'm pretending to be asleep. Background: Yesterday we were supposed to go to Washington Square.  Didn't quite make it there. Hit a million stores and ran out of time....  On the way home the girls kept saying they didn't want to go home... they wanted to go to Washington Square! (: Natalee: Mommy, I want to go to [mumble] Washington.  Mommy I want to go to [mumble] Washington.  Mommy I want to go to squuua Washington. Mommy I want to go to squuuua Washington.  Mommy I want to go to square Washington.  Mommy I want to go to ...

Check out these cuties! (left to right: Hollie, Shyanne, Maddy, Aiden)

oooo she changes so much! what a little lover! and look at Kyah! My her hair has grown! So so so sweet! love these two girls!

Well... Here's what we did today.... It wasn't exactly going into a tree farm and cutting our own tree... but it worked. for this year. next year... it's back to our old tradition! (: We did have a lot of fun tho! Just seeing the excitement in our girls' eyes made it special. While the girls napped.... Johnny and I set the tree up and got all the light on. He came up with a brilliant plan. He hold all the lights - and I put them on. This plan came from his childhood apparently (Cheryl, April, Autumn, Amber....? Can you verify the following?!?!).  Johnny told me today that as a child, he HATED putting up lights. So he let his sisters & mom put all the lights on - then he got to hang all the ornaments. Perfect set up! Anyway.... Johnny did help me get the lights on... and then I hung ornaments at the top and laid out all the other ornaments on the floor for the girls to tackle. I even put Shy & Hollie's pictures in two picture frame ornaments. Th...

4 words. 4 words changed my world last night. 4 words uttered by my husband. my lifelong companion. my best friend. 4 words that were the last 4 words I expected this soon. 4 words that I wasn't 100% sure I was even ready to say. 4 words. "I think we should" Johnny and I were laying in bed talking about the latest developments with the girls.  I told him that I had literally been physically ill since getting off the phone with their case worker. Not because anything was wrong. Simply because I had broached the subject of possible adoption and now my gut was all twisted with dread. Dread that we might let these girls go, and regret it for the rest of our lives.  Things that I have been thinking about for quite some time - finally verbalized to my case worker. I expected her to say, "no way" but she didn't.  She gave me hope they we might possibly be able to have these girls. And that hope, opened a whole new door of emotions. Emotions that perhaps I had bott...

Me: Natalee... did you know Jesus loves you? Do you love Jesus? N: uh huh. I do Me: Jesus loves you very much N: and He loves Shyanne and Hollie too! Me: [eyes moist] Yes He does!

On Saturday we headed home from Pacific, but took a slight detour and headed to Seattle for a couple hours. It took a bit of maneuvering thru the crazy Seattle traffic but we finally found Pike Place Market and headed in for a bit of perusing of the shops. It was INSANE!! All the Thanksgiving weekend crowds.... we could barely get a stroller thru the crowds. But we had a nice time... snapped some darling shots... and then headed home! Well... when I said cute shots.. I wasn't referring to this one! Naomi just had to snap this shot. We were dying laughing! Standing on the pier overlooking the sound. We were considering taking a ferry ride.. but it was $7 per person... so we ditched that idea! Shyanne was cracking us up... She LOVES Jas and he was making her laugh like crazy! Hollie chillin' - me w/ my coffee... I'm happy!! Jas & Naomi got a cute shot under the sign! Papa & Jenners (Jen was sooooo sad to go home... she misses us!!!) It was FREEZING down near the wat...