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More waiting... heart breaking small steps.

Received this email from the girls' caseworker...


"Things are moving with the recruitment for the kids...I have received several studies already for the four kids together. I am going to be very specific about what they need etc...so we will see what types of families we get. If I continue to recruit and don't get what I am looking for we will then revamp and talk more about splitting the sibling group. Of course, there is a 'process' that I have to go through to do that here...take it to a committee and present the info/reasons etc... I am open to whatever is best for these kids and absolutely don't want a failed adoption in any way... Please do keep me updated on how things are going and any other thoughts you have on this. I value your opinion and know that you know these girls better than anyone at this point!"

I read it with resigned sadness. But then... at prayer last night... I burst into tears while asking people to pray for their situation.  Of course I want what's best for them.  And more and more I'm thinking WE are best for them. And not just out of a selfish motivation. I'm reading a book right now "Parenting The Hurt Child" and it has opened my eyes to the damage that occurs with every move.  These kids are settled here. They've built trust. Here's the email I initially sent her. 


"How are things coming w/ the adoption bulletin? Are the kids posted? I am reading a fascinating book right now - I think it's called "Parenting the Hurt Child" - addressing the difference w/ raising kids w/ attachment disorders. It's amazing how much Shy falls into the description. Crazy really. Anyway.... just opening my eyes to the potential for disaster in moving the kids again.  The damage that ensues w/ moves - the way it affects kids.  I honestly am terrified of a failed adoption.  What if someone thinks they want these kids until they actually have to live with them day in and day out - and then they have to move again. That will destroy whatever chance for normalcy these kids had/have.  I have lots & lots of thoughts on this but I will save it for another email!"

That sums up a lot of my thoughts on this issue.  I think I may sit down eventually and type up the main things that I've learned from this book. For now that's it. Just lots of prayer. I need it. They need it. We need it. 

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