Yesterday while at Indoor Park, a lady was questioning me on which kids were mine (out of all the kids in the park), how old the girls were etc. There are days when Johnny and I get tired of people asking (Johnny, more than me, I tend to take it in stride more... ) She was nice enough and gushed when she found out we were adopting. But then I overheard her explaining my family to another mom whose children were playing at the park. She said something to the extent of, "That's her daughter (pointing to Natalee) and those two are not hers. They will be soon because she's adopting them."
Of course the lady didn't mean anything by it, and if I was one of the think-on-your-toes kind of people, I know exactly what I would have rebutted with, but alas, I am not.
And so I said nothing, attempting to not let it bother me. But here I am tonight thinking about that woman's words.
I AM MY GIRLS' MOM. No question in my mind. No question in their minds either. And if I could go back to that day, I would interrupt that woman and graciously say, "O, that's where you have my story wrong. They are my girls. And I am their mom." and then smile and walk away.
Because they ARE my girls, and they have been for a long time.
Most likely anyone who reads my blog already knows this. But I just needed to get it out. on "paper" so-to-speak.
I am very cautious when random people in the store ask me if the girls are twins. I've come up with a way better answer, than pointing out my kids and labeling them. I just say, "We're foster parents" and the label is all back on us. And I love it. It works! and no one needs to know which child is which. It's really none of their business!
I said all of that to say... in the long run, people will probably know and explain that two of my girls are adopted. and that's fine. but it's not who they are. Adoption is not the be-all and end-all of their identity. I think it's kinda like my sister Jen, or my friend Patti's daughter Lily. I want you to see my girls for who they are, not for their label. I hope that my girls will grow up proud that they are simply, The Barton Girls!
Of course the lady didn't mean anything by it, and if I was one of the think-on-your-toes kind of people, I know exactly what I would have rebutted with, but alas, I am not.
And so I said nothing, attempting to not let it bother me. But here I am tonight thinking about that woman's words.
I AM MY GIRLS' MOM. No question in my mind. No question in their minds either. And if I could go back to that day, I would interrupt that woman and graciously say, "O, that's where you have my story wrong. They are my girls. And I am their mom." and then smile and walk away.
Because they ARE my girls, and they have been for a long time.
Most likely anyone who reads my blog already knows this. But I just needed to get it out. on "paper" so-to-speak.
I am very cautious when random people in the store ask me if the girls are twins. I've come up with a way better answer, than pointing out my kids and labeling them. I just say, "We're foster parents" and the label is all back on us. And I love it. It works! and no one needs to know which child is which. It's really none of their business!
I said all of that to say... in the long run, people will probably know and explain that two of my girls are adopted. and that's fine. but it's not who they are. Adoption is not the be-all and end-all of their identity. I think it's kinda like my sister Jen, or my friend Patti's daughter Lily. I want you to see my girls for who they are, not for their label. I hope that my girls will grow up proud that they are simply, The Barton Girls!
Comments
Isn't amazing how things work out? That you will adopt before me? So crazy! And yet God knows exactly what he is doing and he is leading you ahead of me so that I can follow in a very wonderful person's footsteps...
I love you, Naomi